Zwartboek - "Black Book" (2006) - Review

This is one of those long films that fly by in no time. Even watching significantly better-than-average films, there are times when I find myself thinking "Nice flick but is it ever going to end?" Not so with this one.

The story is about a Jewish woman who hooks up with the Dutch resistance during the final months of World War II. For much of the movie, she dons the guise of a non-Jewish Dutch singer in order to seduce one of the Nazis (a much more charming and sexier version of your typical Nazi). One can only imagine the surfeit of possibilities for spying. (Yes, Mata Hari does come to mind.)

Lots of intrigue with double-crosses and at least one double-double-cross (triple cross?) follow. There is romance, believe it or not. There are a few scenes that probably would have got this film an NC-17 rating twenty years ago. Not all of those scenes have to do with sex or nudity.

Though the story is pretty dang good, I'm not sure I'd have liked the film as much as I did without the performance of Carice van Houten. Quite frankly, the story was a tiny bit overwrought. (It was based on "actual events". I suppose WWII was an actual event.) But this girl's acting chops made this film something I recommend without reserve. I would watch it again if only to see her gut-wrenching sobs. I believed that she felt her pain might kill her.

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Here is a review from somebody who didn't like it quite as much as I did.

Forgot to mention... subtitles. What I consider a bonus is that they are in multiple languages - mostly Dutch but lots of German and even some Hebrew.

(out of 5)

Oh, My God

UPDATE: Everything has changed.
Go ahead and read the following. It is an honest assessment of where I was at the time, but far, far away from where I am now.
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I've recently been in contact with several people with whom I grew up and went to school. The topic of religion and belief in God has come up in several conversations.

I was raised in a religious household. My parents are both Seventh-day Adventist and my siblings and I were raised to be SdA. I went to private church school until midway through my sophomore year in high school. (We called it "academy". I think "high school" was a little too worldly.)

The Adventism that was practiced in my household was a religion based on rules, judgment, and fear. The message I got was "God is love, but there is a long list of things that he doesn't like. If that's not clear in the Bible, you've got EGW to expound and maybe add to the list. Neglect to follow the rules, even if it's accidental (Remember Uzzah?), there is significant discipline meted out, even unto death."

So that was how I was introduced to the concept of God.

In my teens and until I was about 30, I was quite the sinner. Based on the concept of God that was handed to me, I was in serious trouble.

When I was in my mid-20s, I spent about 3 years in the SdA church. I was already pretty miserable by then and thought that maybe the church I grew up in might have the answers. I pursued that hope with vigor and rigor. I studied. I witnessed, even to the point of preaching to the faithful. After that 3 years, I became completely disillusioned with the whole thing. I knew I had given it my all and it was not working.

After that, I got down to practicing one of my most egregious sins - being a drunkard. (Not to mention all the substances that aren't mentioned in the Bible. Did they even have meth back then?) Eventually, in 1993, I realized that if something didn't change dramatically, I was going to die before too long.

Right when I was starting to think about the gravity of my situation, my dad sent me a long letter telling me about a treatment center that several of my family members had been through. He made a very convincing case that I might consider checking myself in. So I did. Except for caffeine and nicotine, I haven't had a drink or toke or snort since that day (2/22/93, for those keeping score at home). Hallelujah.

This treatment center I checked into was different than what most people think of when they think about treatment centers. Their program was not limited to substance abuse. They treat all the isms: food addiction, sex addiction, workaholism... you name the ism and they'll treat it. That's because the basis of all their treatment is the idea that most of us are afflicted with the ism of codependency. Treat that and you all those other isms make a lot more sense.

Agree or not with the concept, it certainly worked for me. I knew almost immediately after walking into that room that I was going to be OK.

At some point during the 85 days I was there, I was handed a new concept of God. More than that, I was handed a new way of relating to the concept of God.

I had always thought and felt that one could get in serious trouble with God if one believed incorrectly. As a result, I was always terrified of the fact that I was not only in big trouble, but might even be in trouble for believing the wrong thing. By the time I left the treatment center, I knew that I could believe whatever I believed. In fact, I knew that I needed to be true to what I really believe, not what somebody compelled me to believe. Whoever or whatever this god (or gods) were, they could get along just fine, regardless of what I believed.

This led to an indisputable truth for me - I no longer had to fear. Life, death, god... no fear. Not too long ago, I was faced with a very serious brain surgery. At no time did it occur to me to ask some deity to protect me or make sure everything would turn out the way I wanted it to. I knew that regardless of how things turned out, the universe and I were going to be OK. I was not afraid to die. Of course my preference was to not die. I love life. I prefer to be alive. But when I was about to go under for the surgery, I realized that I was OK with whatever happened.

Part of my recovery was to accept that I was powerless over all the isms and that the only way to deal with that was through believing in a higher power. I was encouraged to find a higher power that worked for me. I had already realized the concept of god that I had learned in childhood definitely did not work for me. I came to believe that the important thing was to realize, on a deeply spiritual level, that I am not god. I needed to internalize the truth that I am not in charge. That is where I'm at now.

I describe myself as agnostic. I don't believe I can know whether or not there is a god or gods. The evidence that I have to work with is inconclusive. I strongly suspect that almost all religions come from a deep human desire to be OK. Part of being OK is having the hope that there's something out there that will keep us OK. That's there's something else besides life and death - that life has meaning beyond what we experience now. Religion is a very popular and sometimes successful means to that end - feeling OK.

I am OK with the idea that this (picture me stretching my arms out to my sides with palms up and open) is it. I have only today and that may very well be all there is. For me, life has meaning in the way I live today. There is sufficient meaning in trying to do the next correct thing. There is sufficient meaning in trying to treat others as I would like to be treated. There is sufficient meaning in tasting, smelling, listening to, seeing and feeling this moment. I don't need any reward - this life is good enough for me.

So there you go - god or no god, I'm OK either way.

P.S. It should go without saying that I believe everyone has the same freedom I do - to believe what they believe. I am not trying to make a case to convince anyone. I am trying to explain, to those who have asked, why and how I got to where I'm at.

Independence Day

For most of us in the United States, today is a day of family, floats ("parade" would have ruined the alliteration), food, flags and fireworks. It's a day when, at least for a moment or two, many of us feel pangs of patriotism for this country.

Lots of us have family or close friends who are serving overseas. My brother is serving as a Marine infantry sergeant in Afghanistan. This is his second tour in the middle east - he also served in Iraq. Everyday I think of him and ask the universe to keep an eye on him.

I am not writing this today to take anything away from US troops. I'm hoping the fact that I've got a bit of skin in the game will serve as my bona fides.

Today I see and hear many shouts out to the troops and their sacrifice. I applaud those shout-outs and believe them highly appropriate. What I don't see and hear much of are shout-outs to what we are supposed to be celebrating today.


Though it's all worth reading, I'm not going to quote the whole thing, but you can read it for yourself if you click on the image. Here's some stuff I like and am thinking about today:

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Then comes the rather lengthy list of the sins of King George III (a startling number of which might be applied to the most recent George to hold the office of president - but that is a post for another time). After the list is the actual declaration by the "united States of America" of their independence from Britain. For some reason we usually have stopped reading by this point. Here it is:

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

That's all. No pithy commentary from me. Consider it my shout out to Tom, John, Ben and the rest of the boys. Thank you for putting this all on paper so we can drag it out once a year and remember what this day is about.

All's Well

Just in case anyone still checks this blog, I'm good. All results have been clear.

In August 2008 I had a melanoma removed from my temple. If you look at pictures from the tumor surgery, you can see it. We caught it very early. It was about .5 mm... barely thick enough to be classified as a melanoma. So gotta keep an eye on the skin.

An interesting detail - the only reason I was at the dermatologist in the first place was to try to get a handle on a small patch of dry skin on my forehead. My regular doc tried some things but they didn't work so he referred me to the dermatologist. This skin guy gave me some potions that cleared up the dry skin. He also said "While you're here, would you like me to give you a full body check?" Why not, right? Good thing he checked, right? Whew.

Also, early this year I started taking anti-seizure medication (Lamictal). This was a preventive measure only. After reporting to my neurologist that I had been experiencing some sensations that reminded me of how my arm felt before the discovery of the brain tumor, he suggested taking the anti-seizure med just in case.

So... still good.

Update

If you came here to read about The Tumor Project, go here and start at the bottom of the page. When you get to the top, click on September 2007 to continue.