I'm getting ready to head out for the Onks' appointments. I have a minor headache and finding myself in a rather negative state of mind. Having found myself in this state of mind, I naturally am trying to take steps to move things into a more positive place on the spectrum. My machinations are failing miserably so far.
There doesn't seem to be any shade of lipstick to put on this pig that's going to make these conversations acceptable. Unless some miracle happens between now and then, I'm going to be deciding exactly how and when the WMD are going to be unleashed onto my brain and which flavor of toxins I'm going to have coursing through my veins in the coming weeks. Upside? Anyone? Aside from the fact that it is modern medicine's best hope for allowing me to rid myself of mitotic cells, I see no upside. It's depressing as hell.
Thank you for letting me vent. I'm sure we'll find some upsides along the way. Until then, I'm going on sheer hope that they're there. They gotta be.
Celebrate with me my friends and loved ones. It may be all I have in this moment, but thank the gawdz you are sufficient and then some.
2 comments:
My heart is heavy my brother. I love you man!
Think of it this way: This episode of your life is going to turn out to be one of the best and most meaningful you will ever experience. It may not seem like it right now, but I can tell you from experience that it will eventually end up that way. So enjoy the experience as much as you can. At the moment, one of the few things you can control is your reaction to what is happening to you. Sometimes bad moods can't be helped, but be as happy as you can possibly be as often as you can. You'll be happy you did.
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